Storm - A Star Wars Story - Movie Pitch

This week I’m doing something different than my usual reviews. I cannot do this forever and my creative juices are angrily boiling inside of me to do something more. That’s why this week I’m doing something called a “Pitch,” where I write a summary of a movie/ TV/ video game I would like to see made. It would be something I could, if I wanted to, pitch to a studio to see if they’re interested in making it real. I currently don’t have the professional knowledge to write a script and storyboard and I have absolutely no directing experience, but again I had a lot of creativity eager to come out and I want to write about it. But these also have to be more than just entertainment, they have to have some sort of importance other than entertaining people and making money.

These won’t be perfect because you cannot satisfy everybody and trying to will often make your idea a jumbled mess. Characters names could change, as well as plot points, length, dialogue, and so on. My goal with these though is make things of genuine worth that people haven’t done before or have considered similar ideas to be not worth it. Sometimes it takes a bit more money, sometimes the right combination of people working on it, and sometimes it’s just luck. But passion is dying in many industries and I want to be sure my ideas, no matter how silly or insane they might be, are kept on hand because if we do the same things over and over again… it’ll get boring. I mean look at the Star Wars sequel trilogy, they kept doing the same things and it became a critical disaster. Which leads me to very first pitch…

Title: Storm – A Star Wars Story

What is it?

This will be a live-action, PG-13 Star Wars anthology movie about stormtroopers that takes place between the end of Episode III and the start of Episode IV. It’ll show a group of five individuals becoming troopers for various reasons and their first assignment, which becomes a lot more than they thought it was going to be.

Inspiration: So last year I saw an animation called “Stormtroopers vs. Rebels - Soldiers of the Galactic Empire | Star Wars Galaxy of Adventures.” It’s a short animation that basically shows stormtroopers being awesome and it’s one of my favorite video ever. Ever since then I wanted to see them in a better light because they’re just people like you and me. It’s just something I’ve never seen before and it blew me away. Every now and then I go back and watch the video because it’s epic and heart-pounding to see all this action and the troopers just looking cool while all this battle is going on. After that though I started seeing a lot more fan-made Star Wars films focused on stormtroopers and it’s there are so many out there that are pretty well done for fan films.

Soon after that video I watched Solo: A Star Wars Story. I wouldn’t say it’s great, but I wouldn’t say it’s bad. The main problems that the movie has is that it relies so much on refences to Han Solo and a lot moments are wrapped up too nicely or were just plain ludicrous. We didn’t need a grand scene where Han got his signature blaster or a ridiculously way to explain how Han made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs (which was a mistake in the original trilogy because a parsec is a unit of distance, not time). However, the idea of showing more of Han Solo in his youth before he came the hardened scoundrel we know him as is a great idea. Also, since Rouge One was a success the idea of building on Star Wars in a non-trilogy format is a viable way to show Star Wars.

What’s the point?

The purpose of stormtroopers in the original Star Wars trilogy was to raise the tension which they kind of did even though they sucked at aiming. They were not in the prequel trilogy since they didn’t exist before the OT, but the sequel trilogy gave them the same purpose except they were even more incompetent, and they pointlessly dressed them up to sell toys. Even The Mandalorian, as much as I love it, has a few moments where the stormtroopers are inexcusably bad at their jobs. That is not right. If you’re continually making mistakes at your job you get fired for your incompetence. I hope this film idea will solve a huge problem with the Star Wars universe, showing that the Empire first took all the best people involved and the reason the troopers get worse and worse throughout the films is because they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Another reason why I want to make this is to show more of the Empire when it was in power and possibly visualize if it did anything actually good for the galaxy. There’s not that much to go on sadly, all I could find was that they removed a few corrupt people in power and were trying to unite the galaxy in a certain way. I mean when you see the Emperor look all deformed and laughing maniacally you can immediately tell that the Empire is bad. But what about the common folk or the foot soldiers? They probably wouldn’t know. So instead of that I wanted to show the Empire being perceived as doing good, or at least at first. Then the characters would slowly realize the truth and make decisions based on their character and journeys.

So the point of all of this is to try something new and show a side of the Star Wars story that barely ever gets talked about. This kind of story has only been seen in fan films (as mentioned before there’s a ton of them) and that’s… very disappointing. Finn was originally a stormtrooper in the sequel trilogy, but not long after we see him defect he’s gunning down other stormtroopers like it’s no big deal. That is a massive opportunity missed by Disney to give us something new. It was a really cool idea to consider and it’s barely important in the sequels. But now I’m going to give that idea a try and make something entertaining and eye opening with it!

The Full Idea:

Our story begins with our main two characters, Derrin Suulfan and Alrik Tasit, saying goodbye to their families as they board a ship. As the ship closes its doors and begins to lift off Derrin looks out the window and once again sees the large propaganda poster from the Empire to join and be a stormtrooper. Both Derrin and Alrik have been best friends ever since they were little and hearing the news on what’s been going on they both decide to go together and join the Imperial army. They believe that by joining up they’re going to be making things better since life has improved for their community since the Empire came to be. This will as be in the first couple of minutes of the movie and if there isn’t going to be a title crawl now is the time, with the ship departing, that the title of the movie appears.

Eventually the two will land on the planet Cardia, home of the Imperial Military Academy, or “The Academy.” They, along with many other young individuals, are going to be some of the first non-clones to join the Imperial Army since recruitment had only recently opened up for non-clones. Their first week/ couple of days (haven’t really decide) will introduce these two to several other characters that become close to them, giving us five people (including Derrin and Alrik) for the audience to follow. These names might sound silly, but going through names in Star Wars you can say most of them are silly, but they’re also fitting of the Star Wars universe.

The first newcomer is Jol Laurip, a soft person who basically becomes the member of the group that holds everyone together. His reason for joining the Imperial Army is because of fear propaganda that keeps circulating and one instance where a Jedi was caught not too far from his home after Order 66 happened. His more relaxed and upbeat nature doesn’t mean he’s not a fighter, he’s definitely a lot braver than he is. But he’s also one who doesn’t want to needlessly kill people and views being a stormtrooper more like how we would view a policeman (who actually did his job and didn’t gas anyone for something so simple as walking about or getting insulted because that’s childish). Everyone will kind of view him as youngest brother of the group and there’ll be some fun back and forth about his role in the group.

Our second new character is Leon Singh, a mechanic from Tatooine who becomes a stormtrooper because the Empire, in its early days, does free a lot of slaves on Tatooine. Not all, but a good portion of them. It’s probably something Darth Vader would uphold since his time as a slave wasn’t very happy. Leon, seeing the Empire as much better system of government than the Republic, joins up because he believes they care a lot more for others than the old government. Plus of course to escape a life of a slave.

And lastly we got Hector Marrin, the oldest of the five (probably at least 10 years older than the second oldest) and the most level-headed and experienced of the team. He fought in the Clone Wars in its final years, but once that was over he was hoping to settle down with the girl he loved. However not long after her father, a newly elected/ assigned Imperial commander, offers him a deal: You work as a stormtrooper for a few years and show me that you’re worthy of protecting my daughter and I’ll fully support your marriage and set you both up on a world with lots of money and resources. Now the audience can consider if he’s just tricking Hector because stormtroopers to most people just immediately get shot and die or if he’s being genuine and wants to see if Hector is a good person. The answer: I don’t know. His role in the group will be that of a teacher/ father figure, showing everyone the ropes from his time in the Clone Wars.

The training period in the film will be a time to show these characters first getting along, having some banter and fun moments, and showing a progression of time since the whole training program for the stormtroopers will take about 2 years. There will be a montage or two to show them going through exercises like a real army and we’ll see these five characters working together more than the other stormtroopers to show that they are becoming good friends with one another. This will also be a period where the other three main characters reveal more about themselves. Also, in order to distinguish them from the other troopers, they going to make their own little “logo” that they’ll paint on their helmets (probably designed by Jol to further show how he keeps them together). They’ll be called out on this, saying it’s against regulation or something, but it’ll be like a slap on the wrist so it’ll be something they'll keep.

It'll be around 45 minutes to an hour by the time the training ends and all five of them, Derrin, Alrik, Jol, Leon, and Hector, with the rest of the newly approved stormtroopers, are sent off on their first assignment on the moon of Raada. They’re told that Empire has taken the planet because they believe it to be a good place to grow food for the army and the people of the planet and their job is to keep guard for any spies or rebellion. Not the most exciting thing, but it’s something and hearing the word “spies” keeps them all interested and eager to serve.

Things are peaceful at first and while it’s a sudden change for the locals the troopers aren’t too imposing on them. However, while on an inspection, Derrin and Leon check on a resident called Ashla, a mechanic who has been on the planet for only a couple of weeks. Something odd happens to when they speak to her and later, trying to remember the conversation, they feel that while it did appear to go normally, something feels off about that moment when they try to remember it. As time goes on the stormtroopers are given new orders and are told there is going to be increases in protocol and restrictions for the people of Raada. Eventually Derrin and the gang will be at a cantina when an old man named Tibbola loses his cool and calls out the Empire for just talking and taking over their home. An Imperial officer has him restrained and Derrin is ordered to kill him, which he does promptly. However, the next day on a patrol he discusses with Alrik that he feels weird and unnerved with himself, having killed his first person. Alrik, knowing him for so long, comforts him and tells him that it’s got to feel really hard to do that and that not feeling bad would be very wrong. However, he also reminds him that they got a job to do, that they’re helping people, and that old man was clearly a bad egg who would cause a lot more trouble alive than dead.

A few weeks later the Empire further increases restrictions and while on their patrols all five of the group hear a few angry mutterings about these new changes. There are going to be a few scuffles and shouting matches during this period and there will be time dedicated to our characters to see their interactions with the society of Raada. So far there hasn’t been too much for some of our characters like Hector, Alrik, and Jol and I want this part of the movie to have them in a few situations.

One night though at the Imperial base on Raada there is an explosion and Derrin and the gang begin their first real battle. Not with the training dummies from the Academy, but against live people, the farmers of Raada. The farmers are outmatched and outnumbered by the Imperials, but just when it seems they’re about capture or execute them all the Imperial blasters suddenly get crushed in their hands. To the shock of everyone they see someone with their hand raised and gripped into a fist, a Jedi! And Derrin vaguely realizes who it is: Ashla. But we the audience know them as Ashoka Tano. Soon after she’s revealed herself though she flees the scene with the surviving attackers and the remaining troopers lose her trail.

Now I’m going to have to break away for a bit to talk about Ashoka. For those who don’t know, Ashoka Tano is well-known Jedi that was introduced in the CGI animated Star Wars: The Clone Wars series. She’s become very popular and has had a fantastic journey through that show, as well as Star Wars Rebels. There’s even hints of her appearing in the second season of The Mandalorian. So yeah, she’s a big character in Star Wars. Now she was on Raada during this time in the Star Wars lore and her side of the story was written down in recent book. You might now ask: Why not make a story about Ashoka or adapt the book into a movie? Well the goal of this film isn’t to go into Ashoka journey, it’s to give us a story for Stormtroopers to make them feel meaningful, to give them their own story. Also I found the book about her story on Raada to not very well adapted, it’s a lot more “telling” and less “showing” of her journey. Like some of her exploits are explained rather than talked about in detail when she’s actually doing them.

Anyways, back to the main story, which is probably around the one hour and 15-minute or one hour and 30-minute mark. After her sudden appearance and disappearance, everyone is wondering what just happened. Soon after the attack though Hector, Alrik, and a few other troopers capture one of the people in the attack, a girl named Kaedan. She’s taken in for questioning and the group discovers it’s more of a torturing. Jol is horrified, but everyone else, especially Alrik and Hector, believe it’s the right thing to do because of the seriousness of the attack. However, soon after her imprisonment, the Jedi Ashoka busts in and rescues her. They all try to recapture Kaeden and Ashoka, but to no avail. But the experience leaves Derrin thinking: Why would a Jedi come back for somebody if they’re evil?

Ashoka Tano becomes hunted by the Empire on Raada. Unknown to the troopers though she’s already left Raada to go into temporary hiding. She will return, don’t worry, this isn’t just a small cameo. The Imperials begin to interrogate citizens of the moon in order to find out any information on where she and her resistance might be located. Nobody knows though or refuses to talk. As a result the restrictions are increased even further and Derrin and Leon (and maybe another of the group) start to question this level of hostility towards the people of Raada. There’s going to be some more conflict between the troopers and the people of Raada and we’ll see a few citizens escape the city to join the resistance on the moon.

Soon after this increase in security we meet our big villain of the movie: The Sixth Brother. For those who don’t know, the Sixth Brother is a member of the Inquisitors, a group of force users who work for Palatine that go out and hunt down potential force users. They’re basically the ones to keep the Jedi from coming back and to recruit any others for the Sith. He is kind of a professional tracker with an eager, yet focused urge for a challenge. He’ll probably mention something like in his last mission he was just spying on some little kids to see if they could use the force and he wants something that’s actually worth his time. If done right he’s going to be a terrifying villain. Maybe not the biggest or most impactful, but definitely with a few moments that’ll make your skin crawl.

Soon after his arrival, the Sixth Brother finds a lead towards some of the resistance of Raada, including the one called Kaeden. Against his desires he is given a stormtrooper escort on his route to these hideaways but orders them to stay back as they’ll get in the way. These include Derrin, Hector, and Jol. The Sixth Brother’s guess proves correct and forces Kaeden out of her cave. A few others sneak out with her in an attempt to ambush the Sixth Brother, but to the shock of Derrin and Jol he was not going to spare anybody and could sense the ambush coming. When they start attacking him he blocks all their attacks with ease, deflecting all the blaster bolts back at his attackers, after which he force chokes a man named Kolvin before cutting him in half with his lightsaber. Kaeden is dragged off to the Imperial base, but just before he leaves one of the ambushers tries to attack him physically, to which he force pushes him onto a rock, his back hitting it hard and snapping it. The butchering of these people disturbs Derrin even more.

On the way to the base, Derrin and Jol look about the town, once bustling with life and now a wasteland. Then he learns that the new crops that have been planted have been draining the soil of all nutrients, preventing any more harvests from ever happening. They have been starving people. This is the point for Derrin where he cannot stand it anymore and decides to leave. But just as he decides on this his battalion are called in to assist the Sixth Brother. The Jedi has returned and is facing off against the Sixth Brother. Watching again from the sidelines Derrin is now in a state of insecurity and seeing what she did compared to what the Sixth Brother did he starts to raise his blaster. Sensing a difference in the stormtroopers the Sixth Brother is distracted enough to allow Ashoka to pull the kyber crystals that power his lightsaber out of his weapon. This causes the lightsaber to become unstable and explode. Yeah, I know we barely got to know the Sixth Brother, I’m sad about that too. I hope though with the right script we can get enough out of him to bring the Inquisitors into more light in future films/ TV shows.

With her now able to create her own lightsabers Ashoka flees to prepare for the final offensive. But while this is going on Derrin hurries back into the base and finds Kaeden. He begins to free her, much to her shock and she is at first distrustful of him and his actions. However he might be her only hope to get off and she follows him, thanking him for his change of heart. During the rescue though he is confronted by his four friends. All of them are shocked, with Alrik demanding him to stop and bring Kaeden back to her cell. At this point Derrin lets loose all of his fears and his realizations, telling his companions that the Empire is killing the moon, and thereby the people, which was against what they had set out to do. Alrik, along with the rest, disagree, saying the Empire is bringing balance and that what he’s found out is really lies, that he’s overexaggerating, or that they can’t leave because the Empire will hunt them down. Derrin, in a true act of defiance, takes off his helmet and drops it on the ground, saying he’s done following the Empire and once more telling them his realizations. He then offers them all another option: Fight back. If there is resistance here on Raada then there has to be some elsewhere that’s much more organized. Hector and Alrik stand firm and refuse to move, but slowly Leon crosses over to Derrin, removing his helmet as he does. Then Jol begins to walk over as well, his face determined but smiling as he goes to join Derrin and Leon.

There’s a sudden blast heard.

Jol’s smile is wiped away and replace with shock as he falls forward, a burn in his back and Alrik pointing his blaster at where Jol was. Derrin screams, “NOOOOOOO!” and begins to fire back with Leon, Hector taking a few shots while Alrik hides for cover. Now Derrin and Leon run for it with Kaeden, running through the base as fast as they can. As they run they encounter Ashoka, who almost kills them both, her now twin white lightsabers at Derrin and Leon’s throats, before Kaeden stops her. She is confused at first, but relents and joins their escort of Kaeden. As they exit the base there are sudden, violent explosions and what appear to be A-Wing fighters bombing the base. It’s becoming flaming destruction on this part of Raada, but Ashoka points out a landing drop ship and starts leading the evacuation of the planet. Derrin and Leon assist, helping families escape while fending off their former comrades. It’s small battle, but very intense and we’ll be seeing the thick of it. There’s going to be no shouts of triumph from either Derrin or Leon, they’re killing their former comrades and so shouldn’t be excited (unlike Finn in the sequel trilogy).

At this point we’re around two hours in and getting close to end of the movie. Eventually almost all the people of the town have escaped and Ashoka and Kaeden begin to make their way to the ship. Derrin and Leon begin to follow, but there’s a blaster sound from behind and Leon collapses. Derrin looks around, sees Alrik running after him, and starts to fire. Alrik dodges the bolts for a bit before getting his blaster knocked out of his hand, but then he rushes Derrin and tackles him to the ground, sending Derrin’s blaster out of his grip. Both begin to fight hand to hand, all while Alrik is bellowing at him, calling him a traitor to the Empire and their friendship. It’s going to be brutal, I want this fight to feel really damn powerful and they’re going to both get really beaten up and bloody. But eventually Alrik knocks Derrin to the ground and starts smashing his fist into Derrin’s face. Like Derrin's face is going to be bloody and really beaten up! It looks like Derrin is finished until he sees his blaster close by and knocks Alrik off him. Then, in a final move, he grabs his blaster and fire as Alrik just as he lunges at him.

It’s this though that knocks Derrin out of his adrenaline rush and awakes him to the reality of the past couple of hours. His hands shaking violently the blaster falls out of his hands and he crawls to Alrik, pleading for him not to die, that he’s sorry, that he just wanted to do the right thing. Alrik, on the verge of death, barely hears him and only just looks at him with a confused, dying look. No words are said from him and he dies in Derrin’s arms, causing fresh tears to pour from Derrin. Then he hears the sound of engines and sees the dropship beginning to leave. The former stormtrooper sprints as best as he can in his injured state towards the ship, but nobody can hear his cries for help. Lifting off slowly and pointing towards the sky the crew, the former people of Raada, and Ashoka Tano ignore the pleas of Derrin as they head for space, leaving the former trooper alone in the destroyed town. As he watches in despair at his lost chance at a new, more meaningful life, Derrin watches a few more A-Wing ships bomb the crops that have been killing the moon. Standing there watching the sky where the ship had disappeared, all his emotions begin to come out and he just falls to his knees, a silent and broken man. He just killed his best friend and companions, along with some of the people of Raada, destroyed the soil and the life on the moon, and in his attempt to fix his wrongs he is left to die on this wasteland...

After a time Derrin gets up and goes back to Alrik, dragging his body to a spot of land free from destruction. Eventually the corpses of Leon, Jol, and Hector are brought there too. Looking down at the all he apologizes to them, saying he wish they all could had chosen a better path. Before he can find a tool to dig their graves though the Imperial reinforcements arrive and several troopers have him at gunpoint. Apparently the security footage showed him escorting the prisoner Kaeden out and killing several stormtroopers, leading to his arrest. At this point he feels lifeless, almost wishing they’d just shoot him so he can join his friends in the afterlife. But he is taken away alive as the Empire views in disappointment their failure on Raada.

We now cut to several months later. Derrin is in a cell on an unknown world. He’s been stewing in his miseries, thinking of all the horrible things he’s done. On this day though he is dragged out before an Imperial judge. He is tried with treason against the empire, assisting the murder of an inquisitor (not true, but they’ve got reason to suspect he was involved in some way), the direct murder of multiple stormtroopers, and aiding the rescue of enemies of the Empire. His sentence: Death by blaster. He is asked if there are any final words he wishes to say before his sentence is carried out. At first he stays silent, his mind still thinking of all the horrible things he did on Raada. But then a new voice comes in, that of Kaeden thanking him for rescuing her. Then that of Ashoka sparing his life. Then the words of those he helped get off Raada. Maybe he was the bad guy in all of this and he won’t be forgiven for his actions. But… maybe in his final act he did manage to do the right thing. Maybe he did make the right choice in the end. His face then fills with angry determination as he looks straight at the judge and roars his final words:

“DOWN WITH THE EMPIRE!!!”

After he shouts that out we’re going to cut away to Ashoka, on a ship looking out into space. She might be talking to another crew member or R2D2, since they encountered each other in the books. She’ll talk about how she was saved by a stormtrooper and also how the clones were programmed to do things from birth, but this one trooper, who she saw fighting her before, chose to help her. Chose… he chose to save people… Maybe there is hope for the galaxy after all. I was originally not going to have this moment and leave it on a darker note, but I realized later on that doing so would be too much for the regular Star Wars fan and we got to have a little bit of light in the darkness.

We then cut back to Derrin as the judge snorts and rolls his eyes, saying what a foolish set of final words to say, as the Empire will never fall. A death trooper gets out his blaster and points it towards Derrin, who does not look away from the judge and keeps his eyes open as the blaster hits him in the best. He falls down, clearly dying, but with a small smile and some tears in his eyes, implying that in his final moments he feels that really did do the right thing in the end. Yes, he is dying, but he died so many more can live. I hope that the audience will not view Derrin as a full good guy, but instead view him as a man who could have done more if he was with the right people, making us feel bad for him.

After Thoughts:

And there we have it, my own idea for a Star Wars movie. I did change a few things from the lore, but this was a massively fun story to write and it’s something I could totally expand on if I wanted to. I’m sure there are some mistakes and complaints that people can make and you can go ahead and give your critiques, you can learn a lot from critiques if they aren’t just shouting, “This sucks!” without an explanation why. In the end I’m just very proud of myself for making this and really trying to create a unique story.

I know some people will complain about the ending is too dark, but I didn’t want to treat the audience like everything is cotton candy and rainbows because in war it’s definitely not like that. The Empire Strikes Back is considered by many one of the greatest movies of all time and it definitely didn’t have a happy ending. The ending was quite gloomy with Luke losing his hand and finding out the greatest villain in the galaxy was his father. Along with losing Han Solo, it’s a pretty dark ending. But it also feels more… fitting, as well as unique. Failures can make us think more and I want Derrin and his friend’s failures to spark a little something.

Now I don’t do this very often, but also relating to Star Wars I have a book series recommendation: The Star Wars Thrawn Trilogy by Timmothy Zahn. It’s so damn good, I keep going through it again and again because of the main villain, Grand Admiral Thrawn. He’s one of the best villains I’ve gotten to know in media and he’s just such a unique villain for Star Wars. He went from being a fan character to an official character in the canon lore, that’s how cool he is. Plus we got Luke, Leia, Han, and the rest of the original gang in some crazy adventures and some actually good expansions on the Star Wars lore and the force. This is what we should have gotten instead of the Disney sequel trilogy. This one blows that one completely out of the water!

I’ve got a couple of other ideas I’ll have for future pitches and I might just commission people to create posters for these ideas, both to visually show what I’ve got in mind as well as give a shoutout to said artists because art is awesome and the friends I’ve made with art are even more awesome!